[sticky entry] Sticky: Hi everybody!

Dec. 6th, 2018 09:56 pm
expatgirl: an abstract digital collage of a light blue background, with a dark blue strip below it. This represents the sky over the ocean on a clear day. (Default)
This is giving me flashbacks to my livejournal days. Hopefully I'll burden you with much less terrible poetry. Instead, I'm gonna give you.....fanfic.


I primarily write for the Supernatural fandom (odd, since I haven't watched the show in years, but that's another story). I focus mostly on Dean/Cas romantically, but emphasize Team Free Will as a whole, and I love Sam Winchester. I also write for Yuri on Ice, and I've dabbled in due South and Stranger Things.

If you want to read my SPN stuff, here you go!
If you're into YoI, here you go!
dS fans, here!

And if you're just interested in general, here's my AO3 account

I'm permanently displaced, probably in bed, and definitely a completely normal adult human, with blood and deoxyribonucleic acid and all of those things.

No, I'm not the ExpatGirl from The Daily Kos, or from Twitter,  but if you came here expecting them, hopefully we can still be friends.

Enjoy!
expatgirl: a black wall with neon lettering: NO (no)
Why do I even bother writing.
expatgirl: a black and white drawing of Queequeg cuddling Ishmael (moby dick)
A black poster which shows a scribble of light pink and dark pink roses in full bloom at the top. In the middle are the lyrics, written in pink letters: It takes courage to enjoy it/The hardcore and the gentle/Big Time Sensuality. In the bottom right there is a black and white image of a human skull. A thin layer of dust rises from the corner.


Been listening to a lot of Bjork, so I made this.
expatgirl: a pen and ink drawing of an owl with big gold eyes (owl)
Castiel Milton was his family's last son; Michael fell, literally, when he struck down his most beloved brother, Lucifer, on the edge of a cliff. Gabriel sustained a mortal wound and disappeared. Raphael was disowned and imprisoned for planning a coup.

And so, when Castiel went missing, all those years ago, after some of the most intense fighting in living memory, everyone knew he was dead. He was a ferocious fighter and a brilliant tactician but there were none left alive after Azazel and Crowley joined forces.

So Dean wept in private over Castiel and in public over John, and put Sam's education above all things, doing what his father had failed to do when Queen Mary died. Sam was the second son and so had a chance for freedom Dean knew was never his.

And Dean plays the part—he courts many, many women, throws legendary parties, travels relentlessly around the kingdom quelling rebellions and hunting down brigands and those who sympathized with Azazel and Lucifer.

But now it's five years on, and the kingdom is impatient, as kingdoms always are. Sam has finished his education, a prince and a scholar, with his warrior days behind him. Rumor has it he's seeking the hand of a merchant's daughter, from Leahy.

(In the past, a match like that would be unthinkable, but then again, Sam is the second son, and the War, which took so many, many lives, made people somehow more pragmatic and more romantic.)

Five years. John can be officially buried—though, of course, his body was never found—as Castiel was, the year previously, in the quiet corner of the Milton family's churchyard, close to the river, where he and Dean spent so many happy hours. He visits Castiel’s grave before he goes on one of his campaigns (each one more dangerous than the last, each time, more reckless), and after, beaten and bloodied but still alive.

Per custom, the week after John's burial is Dean's coronation. They build the King's Pyre in the square and burn John's robes in lieu of his body. He was a harsh man and king, born and died in war, but his sacrifice ended it, an so the people revere him, if not love him. (It's a sentiment his sons share.)

The kingdom mourns. Hunter-kings from other countries pay their respects, queens and empresses send gifts, and every flag flies at half-mast. The palace is draped in black, and remains that way until the last of the smoke from the Pyre clears.

And now Dean faces the real question. He'll be King—for real, actual King—and he'll be expected to marry. Those foreign dignitaries aren't solely here out of respect for John; they know Dean's reputation as a warrior, Sam's as a negotiator, the kingdom's wealth.

He'll have a year, at most, where he can wave off the question with excuses about settling into the role. But he's been acting in John's place for so long now that people will see it for the lie it is.
Rating: T
Pairing: Dean/Castiel

Read more of Gallantry or: The Knight and the Missing Soldier by clicking here.




expatgirl: an abstract digital collage of a light blue background, with a dark blue strip below it. This represents the sky over the ocean on a clear day. (Default)
But for now, just this:

American grocery stores are HUGE and FULL of STUFF, most of which I don't understand!

You know that scene in The Hurt Locker where Jeremy Renner's character stands, dazed, in a cereal aisle the size of a studio apartment while he tries to choose between 8 nearly identical kinds of frosted wheat? 

Yeah, that.  
expatgirl: a black wall with neon lettering: NO (no)
 It's exactly what I thought it would be.

St Louis

Mar. 17th, 2019 09:06 pm
expatgirl: an abstract digital collage of a light blue background, with a dark blue strip below it. This represents the sky over the ocean on a clear day. (Default)
Now, she writes, I might need a shrink.

Or, I always needed a shrink and just can't avoid it anymore. 

I think of lungfuls of seawater and I do the laundry; or of organs spilling out like eels onto railroad tracks, and I fold my husband's clothes; or of a thousand, thousand smaller ways to die.

I write back some words of comfort and I don't say oh god my sweet girl, my lovely friend, we've always needed shrinks. I don't say we were in a poetry club together, for god's sake. 

I say, instead, don't be afraid.

I will learn to keep a clean house. 
expatgirl: an abstract digital collage of a light blue background, with a dark blue strip below it. This represents the sky over the ocean on a clear day. (Default)
 Leaving for the US in just over 24 hours and I'm trying to convince myself it's excitement I'm feeling, not dread
expatgirl: a roy lichtenstein style POW drawing (pow!)
 It's been 84 years, but I've done it. I've updated Liberty Bonds

When I started writing the chapter I lived in England. Now I don't. In the interim I've had health problems and.....other things going on. It's a miracle it exists at all! (Though to be honest, that can be said of literally anything I write. Writing, for me, is about as easy as performing surgery on myself.) 

Here's an excerpt from "Dear Old Pal of Mine", which is chapter 8:

A darkly bristling presence brushed by Dean’s leg, leaving a trail of brimstone in his nose. The Hellhound. He quenched the desire to slit its throat. He had to keep eyes on the demon in front of him, the one wearing that shifty-looking meat suit and conspicuously expensive cravat. He heard a heavy wuff as the Hellhound settled at the base of the throne, causing a tremor to travel through the floor.

“Good girl, Juliet,” the demon—Crowley—said in a gentle voice. It made Dean’s skin crawl.  Maybe it was the atmosphere in this place, or the smell, or something else Dean couldn’t define, but a memory threatened to climb up out of his throat in the form of a scream. All at once he heard Alistair (a name he hadn’t said to anyone, not even himself, in years) crooning similar words in a similar tone into his ear.

“Do pay attention,” Crowley said, sounding bored, as he stepped onto the dais and sat.

Dean raised his eyebrows. “Trust me, you got every ounce of me and my knife’s attention.”

Crowley smiled at that. “Kurdish, is it? Very rare. I saw you, ah, fondling it.”

“Cut the crap,” Dean said. “You said you had intel?”

Crowley made a show of examining his fingernails. “I said I’d like to make a deal. It’s kind of my forte.”

Dean stepped forward, and a quiet growl rose up from the ground. “You said yourself, I’ve dealt with some of your thugs before. You know how well that ended for them.”

“Mm,” Crowley said, nodding, still smiling. “I also know how well it ended for you.”

Dean smiled back, the kind of smile he’d learned in Hell, and the Hound at Crowley’s feet grew quiet. “Yeah, how did that end? Oh, wait. With me topside and them dead.”

Crowley turned serious. “Don’t try my patience.”

“Tell me what you want, and I’ll tell you how many pieces I’m gonna carve you into.”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “There’s no rack in Hell as torturous as the grammar you just used on me.” He sighed. “But fine.” He stepped down from the throne and walked toward Dean. “As I said: you keep the celestials out of my hair, even the, hm, charismatic one, and I’ll tell you who’s after Juliet here.”

You can read from the beginning here.
Tags and Warnings: Dean/Cas, minor Dean/others, minor Sam/Jess, Sam/Eileen; World War I, angels, blood, trench warfare. Rated M.

 


expatgirl: an abstract digital collage of a light blue background, with a dark blue strip below it. This represents the sky over the ocean on a clear day. (Default)


You're gone. The trees are so quiet
When your hand was in my pocket
How they swayed from side to side
Now the meddling sky and my snowy eye
Sees a different night

The night I fell into the lion's jaws
To my regret and your delight

Those teeth themselves could not divine
Nor their pressure estimate
The haze I wish to never break
And to never contemplate

Momentum for the sake of momentum
Momentum for the sake of momentum
Of momentum
expatgirl: an abstract digital collage of a light blue background, with a dark blue strip below it. This represents the sky over the ocean on a clear day. (Default)
 Uhm. Hm. 

It appears I'll be going to Florida next month to spend some time with the family. It's been 3 years since I was last in the US. I wonder how foreign I'll feel this time, in my birthplace. (I will look up tip etiquette, at least.) 
expatgirl: a roy lichtenstein style POW drawing (pow!)
Are you in the Harry Potter fandom? Do you ship Neville Longbottom and Draco Malfoy?

If you answered yes to either of those questions--or even if you said no to both!--you should definitely take a moment, set your teacup in its saucer and put the Madeleine on its plate, and read charity by [personal profile] aerialiste (and check out that moodboard!). It's more satisfying than a ploughman's lunch and gayer than a parade in June.

cat

Jan. 29th, 2019 11:15 am
expatgirl: an abstract digital collage of a light blue background, with a dark blue strip below it. This represents the sky over the ocean on a clear day. (Default)
a black and white cat lounging on a wood floor

Click to see in all its glory.
expatgirl: me (me)
 I'm really intrigued by the show Sirens, but also I just don't have time for non-queer content, and there doesn't seem to be any in the program from what I can tell. 

I-V

Jan. 10th, 2019 09:30 pm
expatgirl: an abstract digital collage of a light blue background, with a dark blue strip below it. This represents the sky over the ocean on a clear day. (Default)
I.

I'm trying to make the most of my unemployed hours--which assumes, of course that they may be coming to and end--but the fact of the matter is that I like doing very little. I like making tea and sitting on the floor and drinking it over the course of an hour. I like scrolling through Twitter hashtags but not posting much on Twitter (10 years on that particular hellsite, wow). I like rolling around in the glitter and the filth in my head and putting some of that down on paper (well, Google docs), without much push to finish anything.*

II.

 I wanna write about a pirate and an angel having a baby. So I do, for no one but me and a couple of other people.

III.

One no longer has a room of one's own but one is accustomed to be being sly and quiet with one's work, and even more so with one's leisure. 

IV.

Mostly Tumblr was an awful place, but there were good things about it--people I met there which I wouldn't have been able to meet anywhere else. And yes, porn. I miss it for a few reasons but a big one the fact that most pornography is GODAWFUL and curating it is a skill that takes time and and dedication. The other reason is that, you know, my limit for engaging with that particular kind of material is about 20 minutes, tops. Being able to spend 10 minutes on an exquisitely curated queer porn blog and then turn my attention to other things on the same platform was extremely refreshing! 

V.

*I really really do need to finish my WW1 Destiel AU fic. Like REALLY. 
expatgirl: a roy lichtenstein style POW drawing (pow!)
 Who wants to write this elaborately plotted porn star AU for the Avengers that I have spent the last 2 hours imaging but will absolutely not be writing.
expatgirl: a roy lichtenstein style POW drawing (pow!)
A digital cover for my short Stranger Things fic 
The Rule of Thirds (3.5k, rated T): Steve, Jonathan, and Nancy spend spring break in a cabin in the woods.

A year ago, I published this Jonathan/Nancy/Steve OT3 fic as a gift to 
[personal profile] aerialiste 





 
expatgirl: a pen and ink drawing of an owl with big gold eyes (owl)
 Three years ago today, I posted The Orange Blossom Bride! 
It's a 15k word, Dean/Cas case fic, and it's a creepy Florida twist on the old Legend of the Mistletoe Bough.

But what you may not have known about this particular fic is that I got the idea from a real photograph...Read more... )

expatgirl: an abstract digital collage of a light blue background, with a dark blue strip below it. This represents the sky over the ocean on a clear day. (Default)
Hi again! You may remember this post from a little while ago

Hi everybody!

I want to get back into writing again, and to do that, I need to start reading again. Moving internationally and having...things...going on in the brainpan have made that hard for me lately. So I'm looking for recs!

No permanent MCD. A little dark is OK, a little scary/spooky is OK, angst is OK. Preferably balanced out with a variety of other emotions but hey. Also queer as fuck.


 
[personal profile] aerialiste came through with a crushingly beautiful bit of m/m angst, took my leather off the shelf. (I'm not even IN the 100 fandom but I loved it.)
Now I'm on the hunt for some Venom fanworks, having just watched it. Same general rules apply--with the added caveat that I'm not into non-con unless it's consensual non-con--and that I'm way into poly fics, so Anne/Venom/Eddie is totally cool, and also I loved Anne's boyfriend, Dan, so he can come too if he wants!
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